In an instance of “dream job meets criminal mischief” that even Hollywood screenwriters would envy, a FedEx employee has exchanged his ordinary routine of parcel delivery for a more lucrative side hustle involving stolen diamonds, gold, and a few vintage baseball cards. Antwone Tate, who worked at the Memphis FedEx Hub, apparently succumbed to the allure of “finders keepers,” only to find himself knee-deep in a trifecta of grand theft allegations instead.
The tale began unraveling on May 27, when FedEx’s Loss Prevention team spotted a series of mysterious package disappearances and began to track the breadcrumbs leading to one of their own employees. What they uncovered was a blueprint for a modern-day treasure hunt, minus the map and cryptic clues. The treasure in question? Initially, an $8,500 diamond ring, accented by the sparkle of nearly $14,000 in gold bars.
Finding the loot was not a Herculean challenge, given that the ring and gold were discovered at a local pawn shop, gleaming under the pseudonymous profile of “Antwone Tate.” In a move worthy of a Darwin Award, Tate nonchalantly used his own driver’s license to offload the valuables, perhaps under the illusion that modern surveillance is a mere urban legend.
Yet, the saga didn’t end with aquamarine gems and trade bars of shimmering alloy. An unexpected player entered the fray: the 20th-century baseball card, a cultural relic revered by hobbyists. Among the cardboard gems was a 1915 Cracker Jack Chief Bender and a 1933 Goudey Sport Kings Ty Cobb card. Their combined sticker price—around $6,800—would make even the most stoic collector’s heart race faster than a Nolan Ryan fastball.
The discovery that these prized cards were no longer in FedEx’s possession? Pure amateur hour theatrics. Detective work led authorities to eBay, where Tate, presumably taking lessons from a ‘How Not To Be a Criminal’ class, listed the vintage cards. Under the handle “antta_57,” another lackluster cover-up attempt failed as conspicuously as an ostrich hiding its head in a shallow bucket.
As predictable as any Agatha Christie tale, it became evident that, legally speaking, Tate struck out faster than you could say “Stealing for Dummies.” With the shiny objects, prized cards, and loose threads tied meticulously by law enforcement, he now finds himself facing charges for theft of property, with FedEx promptly showing him their own little Show and Tell: the door.
This caper naturally drew the corporate ire of FedEx, which publically declared the breaking news that Tate was “no longer with the company,” simultaneously seizing the moment to reiterate an old workplace adage: employee benefits do not, in fact, extend to random pilfering of clients’ prized possessions.
One could argue about the innate human fascination with tales of felonious folly but remember Oswald Cobblepot’s words: Crime doesn’t pay. And so, Antwone Tate spirals into the annals of amateur-hour criminality, where cautionary tales form a harmonious chorus around a bonfire of bad decisions.
Future package recipients warily wondering where their packages roam should perhaps do well to check the digital auction floor: eBay. Though they should refrain from placing bids on anything sold by “antta_58,” now more of a moniker for disaster than dealer.
As a parting wink, it’s worth noting that the mystique and allure of gold and diamonds often make men blind. They also, as evidenced by our protagonist’s misadventure, apparently make them forgetful of internet traceability and the basic fact that theft is, indeed, quite illegal. There’s an irony in expeditious deliveries where the hand that promises to deliver instead delivers itself to the long hand of the law.
